Category: Singles Spit Swap
Did the title of this board shock you/ Good. My single friends, I've noticed an eppidemic among those of us us brave enough to post ourselves up here. I know it's unnerving, posting all your personal details up for any buyers, but really people1 crossing your arms over your metiforical boobies is no gesture of modesty, especially for you guys. Man up1 I wanna see more titles that grab me. I good title sticks in the mind, and even if the reader isn't looking, they click on your board because they have to see what sort of blurb could follow such an awesome, corny, terrible, catchy or terrible headline. Ladies, we have to remember something. Go away boys. I'm gonna whisper.
Okay, so boys, it is scientifically proven, mature slower than girls. what this means for the fully grown is that the men still have not learned to use the three percent of their brains that we do. Therefore, we must, if we ever hope to find a man on the singles boards, be very specific.
I want a fat man with an alcohol problem!
I want a kind-hearted dominant male1
I want a red-haired, submissive male!
I want a guy who likes chick-flicks!
You get the idea. Be sure and be firm.
I want a man!
I'm looking!
And other horse shit titles like that are gonna get you any Tom Dick and Harry passing through. The really great ones, the princes of the zone, well they're gonna pass you right buy because your title is just like everyone elses.
Let's move on to the descriptions.
Hey boys!! Yeah you! come back! Aunt Lucy wants to lecture you for a while. All right now, ladies and gentlemen, I want you to do something about your pathetic attempt to describe yourselves. what I want you to do is close your eyes and unleash your inner narcisist. That's right guys, this si your chance. ladies, you're already pretty good at this, so just let it out. deep inside every one of us, there's a part that thinks we're pretty great. I don't wanna hear that you have black hair and brown eyes.
my hair is black, and it falls to my shouldes. My eyes are a soft brown, and people say I remind them of...
]
Much more interesting, don't you think? If for whatever reason, life's cruelty conspired to kill your inner narcisist, tell your potential lover what you want to do for them.
I want to date for a year long distance before we meet. I love long phone conversations and webcam chats.
I want to send you flowers just because. I want to be the first thing on your mind when you awake and the last thing when you close your eyes.
I want to make you beg like the pitiful little worm you are.
I live to serve. Your word is my command.
look, I really don't know what to say, but here's my MSN.. Let's talk.
Any of those would be exceptable. In conclution, I think you're all great people, but you're selling yourselves short. Let loose your inner love machine. You are brilliant. You deserve love and there are people out there who deserve you. good luck, my dears.
Lucy
Lucy
Some great advice here. I'm not looking so am not advertising myself on this board. But your advice is great. In fact, I find any topic, not just those on the singles spit swap board, would benefit from more well thought out and descriptive subject lines. I often skip over board topics because the subject line does not grab my attention.
But back to advertising yourself, I love your advice.
And here I thought that we were going to replace the word blank with a short phrase.
I want to blank you til your eyes bulge.
I want to fuck you til your eyes bulge.
I want to squeeze your neck til your eyes bulge.
I want to feed you twinkies til your eyes bulge.
Give me a hand, y'all
I agree with Becky on this. The subject line is bound to make just about anyone at least give the topic a look.
And lol at Thom's post... if this was on the Game Parlor then I probably would have said, "I wanna insert this sossage into your sauce until your eyes bulge"... should make for a nice barbecue, don't you think? lol
Come on Thom, come feed me Twinkies until my eyes bulge. What a way to go!
cupcakes are better, but lol anyway.
Hi becky! *hugs you* Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Maybe you can post a similar rant about subjectlines on one of your favorite boards.
Lucy
Oh my heavens1 Thom, you're right. I should have posted it in the game parlor. lol I still might. You can have two boards with the same title, right.
Lucy
Hi there, donkey Ocka! lol yes, a very interesting barbicue indeed. Go put this on the game board. I dare you.
Lucy
Teardrop, I definately prefer those olf-fashioned doughnuts. You know, the ones with real granulated sugar on the outside. Fresh baked ad deep fried and bubbling lard. Mmmmmmmmm.
Lucy
Lucy
I willl try some of your tips and see what happenes. I was straight forward with my post i will try to change it a bit.
Hi glover! Nice to see you on this board1 You were one fo the first posts I saw. Then I noticed everyone else was the same. But yeah, try and change it up a little and really put yourself out there. I think you have a lot to offer, so you really shouldn't have any trouble.
Lucy
OOOH! Aunt lucy! Where or where is your hot, descriptive, imaginative, revving, love machine post that will make us poor man mortals beg just to leave you a private message? Smile.
I'm waiting! MMM!
Forereel, i have a good mind to whack you hard with this here wooden spoon. *smiles* did you not see my profile? I weigh eight hundred and eleven pounds. I think I need to shed some of this poundage before I post any sort of personals add. Thanks for posting though, sweetheart.
Lucy
what do you think i should change about my text profile/ audio profile? i was thinking of taking out the relationship part cause i don't want people to think that is all that i am here for
You promise to wack me aunt Lucy? Smile. MMM. Also where was it written that *all men are not looking for women that weigh 811 pounds?* I honestly love you ideas, but still would love to see it in action. Lie a little and say you weigh 118 pounds, that's only switching the numbers, but the rest could be hot right? Come! on! baby! MMM!
well glover darlin I looked over both your audio and text profiles. On your audio, I advise you to slow down. I know there isn't a whole lot of time to say all you want, but that's okay. the voice profile is designed to let people hear what your voice sounds like. Talk the way you would if the girl of your dreams was totally in to you and sitting across from you at dinner. Forereel had some really good advice too on your question board. Yes guys check it out. For your text profile, I think you're right. Omit the part about looking for a relationship. Congratulations on wanting to be an occupational therapist, sweetheart. It was occupational therapists who got me out of some of the deepest depressions of my live. Follow through. Do it and you can't know how many people you'd impact.
Ok i will do that.
She good folks. I mean that Lucy.
Wow, what an interesting board this is. lol. Anyway, yes I'm looking, but haven't put anything up because I'm too shy and don't know what my board will turn into. I don't know if anyone really has any success at this, and sometimes, you just don't know if someone is really serious about you and really wants to get to know you, or if their just someone on the other end of the computer just playing around with you to. I've had both happen. So it's hard to tell these days. So I'm really not sure if I should post or not, or just let people look at my profile and have them send me a message if they like what they read? If you think I should post, then I will, but I've seen some of the board posts on here and other boards, and wow some people are just so, well, rude I guess. But yeah that's just how it is. But anyway I'll stop my rambling and Lucy, tell me what you think I should do, or anyone I guess for that matter.
I say if you feel it in your heart to post, then do so. if you don't, that's fine too. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true.
songbird83
First off Hi what is new with you?
Well I have not been on this site long but you said to really get to know the person to the point where you think you can trust them. It is ok to be shy about posting on this site. As far as if you will be able to find some one on here you never know. talk to you soon
That's wonderful, Glover. *hugs*
Forereel, I forget what it was we were talking about, it's been so long. *smiles warmly*
well songbird darling there are hundreds and hundreds of boards up about this topic. If you feel you or what you're looking for is unique, then by all means, post. If not, that's okay. Read what others have to say. Then supply thoughtful and heart-frlt replies. Good luck. *hugs*
Thanks Lucy
Songbird83
As long as you are truth full about what you put on your profile and what you tell people you will find someone.